Kowalski & A Crème Brulee

So, we’se at a party at Joe & Sharon’s. I know. It musta bin a blue moon. I says ta Joe, Mildred, TMOL, ain’t gotta drink. I says, would ya like ta giver her one? Then I remembers I’se speakin’ English ta ya English, an’ I can see Joe’s thinkin’, you jus’ gimme the woyd Mildred, an’ I’m ya man!

            Like that time I asked him if his sister-in-law, who lives in France, was gonna come across this year. He says, Kowalski, ya can live in hope.

            Ya see, that’s whaddya ya gotta get straight when ya’s talkin’ English to ya English. Ya gotta get clear whadyas meanin’ ta say. Why last week we wuz out with the gals, havin’ a meal, and Mildred got ta take a crème brulee. She wuz tappin’ it with her spoon. I says Mildred, that sure is a hard one, which maya put the idea inta her head, because she ups an’ says, by way a explanation, that’s ‘cos they gives ‘em a blow job, Kowalski.

            I says, Mildred, that sure ought ta do it, an’ wanna the old dames down the far end a the table is sayin’, what’s everybody laughin’ at. But the old dame’s gotta sister, wanna them gals lived her life as a maiden lady an’ never married. She pipes up, Mildred done said sumpin’ rude, dear. She says, I’ll tell ya about it later.

            I’m thinkin’, well, I’m thinking jus’ what yore thinkin’. Yeah, I wuz thinkin’ that too. Hey, I never said nuthin’ about false teeth.

[see more of Kowalski on his page.. better still, buy the book from www.unboundpress.com ]